So you didn’t know cheerleaders were porn stars?

Well I wasn’t a soft porn star back in my cheerleading days. Didn’t have time , since I was too busy getting an Honours Degree in University,  and attending post-graduate studies. I now have a career and do charity work. Sorry you thought otherwise.

I thought by 2010 there would be an about-face with certain stereotypes. Like blondes have more fun (they don’t, I now know that). I have been living and breathing them for years, but this is just ridiculous. A group of Toronto Sun readers, you know, the uber intellects of our city who despise half-naked women (the publication you read has one every day), are appalled by a recent news article showcasing the Toronto Argos cheerleader photo shoot for 2010. Heaven forbid they videotape our city’s CFL cheer team getting ready for their upcoming season, after all, what kind of sponsors do that?

I would like all of you who posted negative comments to collectively give your head a shake. Not only are you completely offensive, but you are demonstrating how narrow minded Torontonians can actually be, tsk tsk. I will be the first to admit that not every cheerleader is the brightest pencil crayon in the box, but judge them all? Really! I was a Toronto Argonauts Cheerleader from 2006-2008, crowned Miss Argo 2006 and I am more than proud of that. Just because women are beautiful, doesn’t make them unintelligent. Could it be true, I now MC for another sports team? That’s right folks; I can walk and talk – all at the same time!! A woman can wear a push-up bra, fake eyelashes and still discuss Tolstoy; can I get an amen?! She can also represent numerous charities, all while performing a classic “kick-ball-change” with a smile from ear to ear (showcasing our lovely pearly whites, thanks to our team dentist). What a crazy concept this all is.

“Haters everywhere we go,” didn’t start up because we thought we were better than everyone else, it is because of you lot. I’ll be sure to discuss this with my lawyer friend over brunch this weekend; she’s one of the half-naked girls you think is “so fat and ugly”. As for the comments about us not making it in the dance industry, maybe you should read the article again, Jorie Brown has quite the list of credentials – she’s also a former cheerleader.

So keep on keeping on girls. As for me, I keep my bikini calendars hanging on my wall, next to my degrees.

My name is Shannon, and I’m a snoozeaholic.

Recently my sleeping limits have been tested. Work and school are piling up and truthfully, the life of a former University student, sleeping until noon and having one class per day, seems like another lifetime ago.

We’re tired.

Yes, it is that plain and simple. Four days of classes, 8:30am starts, client projects, part-time jobs, community service, recreational activities – I am tired just typing it. But, I am not complaining. More just enlightening those reading this as to my whereabouts.

Classes at 8:30am mean I am out of bed at 6:30am in order to commute staring at 7:15am. Now if you press snooze from 6:30 straight through to 7:30, you will be late. An hour or more late depending on atrocious traffic. My point is, we’re tired – hitting snooze is the only control I have over my life right now. Four hours of sleep can be turned into a dreamy five hours of sleep with the snooze button. This button has magic I can’t even fathom consuming – better than any super power. The ability to give someone sleep!

It is not as though I do not like waking up for 8:30am classes, usually I am up earlier working on client work or attending meetings. However, let it just be known that when you are hitting crunch time with your post-graduate degree the amount of hours sleeping tends to trump the amount of skills you may be learning. Case in point.

However, I am turning over a new leaf. My name is Shannon, and I’m a snoozeaholic. Hi Shannon.

Instead of a 12 step program, I am doing a 12 class program. Two morning classes per week for the last six weeks. 12 steps to a healthy career – sounds about right. No snoozing, no projecting, no meeting.

Wish me luck in SA, snooze.