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Without even finishing the monogrammed invitation with details and RSVP card, I have already thought – dress and shoe shopping.

I am not sure what it is as women that an invitation automatically equals shopping. It’s instinctive, it is what we know. We may not understand the correlation between Sunday and chicken wings (I do, but I am an exception, not the rule) and we may not know why hockey equals bromance – but invitations and shopping, that we know. Why don’t men know that too?

I can admit I am a bit of a shopaholic. I recently had to defend this in a conversation I would like to entitle “want vs. need”. I was asked if I needed a recent purchase to which I got my Plato on and delivered this award winning philisophical speech…

“I need to be clothed. I cannot walk around naked in the streets, it is illegal and I highly doubt the majority of the population would be too impressed. It is not my fault that I want to look adorable while fulfilling that need. And don’t you want me to be happy? I am happiest when fulfilling voids of need in my life. Therefore, the dress stays.”

To which I got an, “Okay…”

Now my need for two dresses from BCBG on Bloor is heavily outweighed by the fact that I wanted them, wanted them badly. I treat them like newborn children and practically decapitated a man for bumping into my garment bag on the street. At the end of the day, it is what subs in to nurture our motherly instincts in our mid-twenties, caring for dresses and shoes. Now what man wouldn’t want us, as women, to practice our ‘take care of your future NFLer’ ways?

Invitation = shopping = better future woman for you to settle down with. Now that is an equation most men need to wrap their head around.