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Ok – let me preempt this blog by stating that I have been a Dallas Cowboys fan for as long as I can remember. I wore a Troy Aikman jersey when I was in elementary school and remember, fondly, destroying the Buffalo Bills in the Super Bowl twice, in a row. I also remember ruining my Mom’s birthday when I was 10 because her team (the Steelers) were playing my team in the Super Bowl and we dominated them. At 10, I didn’t understand tact and sportsmanship, and therefore rubbed it in her face and wore my jersey to school the next day to gloat. I was also a Deion Sanders fan and loved him on the baseball diamond as well. I could confidently say, that I loved the game, wanted to be a cheerleader, and this was all infuriating to my Dad who is a Browns fan. With that being said, they are currently driving me to drink.

Do they drink during half time?

This is a serious questions, I’m not joshing you all. Saying that the Cowboys “shit the bed” on a weekly basis is not something I am excited to state. I don’t wake up on Sundays hoping for this. I put on my Austin jersey and pray to the NFL on FOX Gods that they will in fact play like real men and show up. Not play to the caliber of the other team, play their own game.

Every game this year has been close. 13-7 for Washington, 27-20 for Chicago, 34-27 for Tennessee, and 24-21 for Minnesota. Really guys? Really?? All within a touchdown, all perfectly up for grabs – cammon (yes, I am aware that isn’t a word). I hate losing, but I hate losing even more when it is within a 1 drive reach. I received a glimmer of hope when they played the Texans, a game they were almost certain to lose, and they came out on top 27-13. Why show me this, when you’re going to blow it every other week.

During the depression bowl last night, I was just that – depressed. I love the Cowboys, and I always will, but they are making it tough to sit down every Sunday and devote my time and energy. You’re killing me Cowboys – you are truthfully killing me. If it wasn’t for Witten, Barber and Austin I’d probably be curled up in the fetal position right now.

Please, for the love of Texas – step up. I don’t do crying, but if we only win one game this year – well the tears will start flowing. I know you’re all wearing pink, but stop playing like you’re in the lingerie bowl. As Rob Dyrdek and his personal body-guard Christopher “Big Black” Boykins say, “Do Work.”

Go get em, boys.