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At around 5:30 am this morning I started having a conversation via twitter with @ErinMarrs and @jedgar about fans. More specifically why all boys tend to sleep with them. I truly thought this was a hockey player thing. Which makes me sound like a puck bunny, but facts are facts. Any male I have had a sleepover with has had a fan – and it has aggravated me to no end. So I thought, what better way to share my unwillingness to accept fans blowing away at 500 mph (ok, exaggerating I know) while sleeping, then to lay out my rationale on my blog.

The Points:

1. The sound is irritating. It is not white noise, it is sound – blatant whizzing sound. For that reason alone, it should be permanently shut off, or bashed with a sledgehammer.

2. You don’t need it. If it is hot, take off a layer of blankets, or better yet, turn down the heat and save some cash.

3. Your body is sweating. Well, maybe if you weren’t putting your handsome body (I am picturing Ryan Reynolds, and yes I would tell him to turn if off too) so close to mine, there would be no need for said device.

4. You can’t sleep without it. Well I can’t sleep with it – choose one.

5. It’s not that loud. Nope, it’s not like a bulldozer driving around the room, but between that and your snoring, I may as well be at a Monster Truck Rally.

Listen guys, I know we’re pains in the ass – believe me, we’re crazy. But I can guarantee that most break-ups/divorces start from one simple, irritating thing. That irritating thing is your damn fan.

Case closed.