I feel like I’m in my senior year of University.

I did some of my best writing that year. Never for the right reasons; essays, plays or short stories. Always for my personal folder of thoughts. Oddly enough, that folder still overflows… and all of them were written when I couldn’t sleep.

It’s currently 2 am – and I decided to write. One thing I can say for certain, never reminisce on your own – it isn’t good for your heart.

Truth.

I’ve never been a girl to have an ex-boyfriend box. I’m rather skilled at gently and quietly cutting and deleting rather than keeping and reflecting. But I found a little folder, while cleaning up my computer, that changed all of that. Damn technology. Oddly enough, this took place while listening to Adele’s “21”, more specifically, “Someone Like You”.

I want to think we all have that one person. The one that when you look back, you can tell you were totally taken by them. You lost yourself in their presence. You gained vulnerability. I have that one person, and kryptonite he is. But truth be told, he probably is unaware.

Have you told them? That person that you’ll look back on when you’re 40, the “what if”. The brief moment when you’re watching your sons hockey game, and the arena goes quiet, and your peripheral vision blurs and memories come rushing back, flooding you with the idea that your life could have been different. Have you told them?

Maybe it won’t matter. Maybe it’s too late. Maybe it never was. But have you told them?

I haven’t… so I hope I look damn good at 40, because maybe I will then.

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