Ok, faithful readers – my apologies for not writing lately. While I am sure my wit and charm has been missed, life has been drama rama and busy busy as of late. But, this all came to a halt when I realized I had not posted on this topic.

“The Back Bend”

There must have been a day after I graduated high school (at 17, I am so effing intelligent) where all the girls, in all grades, were sat down and instructed on a new pose. It must have gone down something like this:

Ohhhh, hey girls! You know that straight back thing that those older girls are doing, ya we’re not down with that. We’re going to arch our backs out, hands on hips LIKE A LITTLE TEA POT, and pose like that. Don’t forget to do it on the other side of your friend so your tummy’s touch. Sound good? K Thx, Bai.


For the love of Paulina Gretzky, just stop. You don’t look skinnier in your too tight dress, you just look like you can’t stand up. Do you have a drinking problem? Looks like it, slop tart. Stand up straight, shoulders back, smile for crying out loud. Just enough with the little tea pot pose, it’s driving me nuts.