This is an excerpt from a larger body of writing I am working on. It is pure fiction, and any resemblance to a real place or person is only a coincidence.
I never had a shot. For some odd reason you had settled on a decision of who I was prior to me even saying hello.
A simple world that was irrelevant to my existence to you.
Your cold shoulder, right hand side, made me wonder what she did to you. It didn’t take much for me to realize you were broken. I may not be a scholar but that much I could deduct.
Could you tell that you made me nervous?
I could barely come up with a sentence that was up to your standards. For a writer I thought it was mystifying that you controlled that part of me. Grammar wasn’t an issue it was being creative and thoughtful that was my demise.
Am I good enough? Will he laugh with admiration? Pause? Will there be a pause?
I waited patiently as the light turned from red to green. Going was better than sitting, it seemed to provide a welcome lull in conversation. A deep breath.
Without touching it, your hair reflects well in the sun, and I just wanted you to know that I will ease into this with time. I’m not that girl, quick to comfort. Give me a minute, a moment to settle.
Time. That’s exactly what wasn’t on my side. As the clocked ticked I, singular me, could feel myself becoming more drawn to you, organically. Little did I know you’d be strategically plotting your early exit.
Which, inevitably, one fell into your lap.
I never asked to be your forever, I just wanted us to spend a fragment of time allowing each other to peel back layers of personality, and show who we are: the beautifully broken with impenetrable baggage. A small piece of me, and a small piece of you.
You turned to me, smelled my hair and placed a kiss. Smelled like good bye.
Immediately after I realized… I also wanted my jumper back.